Wish, If Only and Regret

Wish is the structure English uses for dissatisfaction and regret, and it works by shifting the tense one step into the past relative to the time you are talking about.

Wishing about now: wish + past simple

I wish I had more time. (I don't)

She wishes she spoke French. (she doesn't)

I wish I were taller. (were for all persons, in careful English)

The past form does not mean past time here. It signals unreal.

Wishing about the past: wish + past perfect

This is regret about something that already happened.

I wish I had studied harder. (I didn't, and I regret it)

He wishes he hadn't said that.

Wishing about someone else's behaviour: wish + would

Used for things that annoy you and that the other person could change.

I wish you would stop interrupting.

I wish it would stop raining.

You cannot wish would about yourself: ❌ I wish I would be taller. ✅ I wish I were taller.

The reason: would implies willingness, and you cannot complain about your own willingness.

Wish + could — ability or permission

I wish I could come. (I'm not able to)

I wish I could have come. (past — I wasn't able to)

Wish is not hope

This is the mistake that reaches the highest levels. Wish is for the unreal; hope is for something still possible.

• ❌ I wish you pass the exam.
• ✅ I hope you pass the exam. (it hasn't happened yet — still possible)
• ✅ I wish I had passed the exam. (I didn't — regret)

Wish is also used for good wishes with a noun object: I wish you luck. · We wish you a safe journey.

If only — the stronger version

If only works identically but carries more emotion.

If only I had known.

If only he would listen.

Two relatives that use the same trick

Both take a past form for present meaning, exactly like wish:

It's time + past simple — it should have happened already.

It's time we left. · It's about time you learned to drive.

would rather + past simple — a preference about someone else's action.

I'd rather you didn't smoke in here.

Compare: I'd rather not go. (about yourself → bare verb, no shift)

Other regret structures

should have + participle — you did the wrong thing:

I should have asked first.

shouldn't have + participle:

You shouldn't have told her.

could have + participle — a missed possibility:

We could have caught the earlier train.

regret + -ing vs regret to + verb:

I regret telling him. (I told him; I wish I hadn't)

I regret to inform you… (formal — I am about to give bad news)

One rule underneath all of it — the past tense in English does double duty: real past time, or unreal present. After wish, if only, it's time and would rather, it is always the second.

The morning after a bad meeting

A: I wish I hadn't said anything.

B: You were right, though. I just wish you'd waited until the end.

A: I know. It's time I learned to keep quiet.

B: I'd rather you didn't — someone had to say it.

Past perfect for the regret, wish + would for the complaint about someone else, and both relatives of the structure in the last two lines.

Test yourself

The quiz below turns on which time you are wishing about.